Friday, February 12, 2010

Today, I am Heart Broken.....

I haven't posted in three days because I haven't felt like I had much to write about. I have eaten pretty much the same meals this whole week. Training is going great.

I hit up the gym this morning and geez....I kicked my trash. I did a hill workout. When the treadmill went up, I would run at 5.5(10:54/mile) and when it was down, I did either a 6.5(9:22/mile) or 7.0(8:45/mile). It was 1 minute per interval and I was SWEATY when I was done. Geesh! I felt amazing, I had the runners high and  a smile on my face.

So, I leave the gym and my cell phone has a missed call at 5:59. Who the hell calls someone that early? I figured it was bad news and I was right....

Let's back up a second so I can tell you a little story. I am a lucky girl who has 3(yes, 3!) sets of grandparents. That is a whole lot of love right there. I grew up around my mother's mom "Grandma Cookies" as my best friend calls her and her husband, my step grandpa "Gramps". My mom's dad comes around from time to time, but we aren't very close. That's "Grandpa G" and my step grandma is "Grandma G". I knew my dad's mom pretty well growing up, "Grandma" or "Mrs. R" as my mother called her. I always knew of my "Grandpa R", but never really "met" him until I was about 14 or 15. The summer of 2005  when I moved back in with my parents was the "summer I got to know my Grandpa R" and we got close. We would sit outside smoking(I quit, he didn't) and talking. He would tell me stories about his family, his mischievous ways, his tattoos, and I would tell him my stories. Last summer Love and I were having a really rough patch in our relationship and I was at my parent's house more and more. I started talking to Grandma R and Grandpa R a lot. They were my shoulders to lean on. They brightened my day and I did theirs. They would always say "Where's Tiff at?" "Is she coming over today?". I really think our relationship grew strong this past summer and I am so grateful for that.

Grandpa R passed away this morning! He had been in the hospital(I just found this out) and they took him off of life support at 6AM. He smoked for 70+ years, and lived on black coffee. He was 82 years old. Not many people are living to 82 these days, but I am so glad he did because I got to know and love him!

My mom told me once, "I admire you for so many reasons. The one that stands out most is your passion and how deeply you feel your emotions and even others!". I am doing better than expected. At this point, it doesn't feel real. I can still see his face saying "I love you"(the first time he said it to me a year ago!). I can still hear the joking we did back and forth. He was spunky, just like me! My mind grasps it, but my heart just isn't ready yet. He is with his 3 sons now and I take comfort in that. RIP "Old Man"....I would love to hear his response right now "Who you callin' old?"!

Thanks for reading, I just needed to tell some stories about him :)

I am not letting this put a halt on my journey in weight loss or to my first half marathon. Onwards and upwards! I plan to train harder and stay focused. Running is my therapy.

11 comments:

Tiff said...

Aw Tiff I am so sorry to hear that! I lost my grandma this past May (who was like my mom) and I know it was so hard on me. I'm glad that you aren't letting this tear down your goals- you know he wouldn't want you to give up!

You're doing amazing!

XO, J said...

sorry to hear about your Grandpa...my thoughts are with you and your family

Morgan said...

I'm sorry for your loss girly! Thanks for sharing the story of how he became such an important part of your life and make sure he lives on in your memories. *Hugs*

Kelly said...

I am very sorry for your loss. Prayers and thoughts are with you!

Mango said...

I am really sorry for your loss, best wishes to you and your family *hugs*

Tricia said...

Sorry for your loss.

Minnesota Mami said...

Sorry to hear about your grandfather's passing. My grandpa died just a few weeks ago, so I've walked this road recently. Awesome for you to not let this derail your fitness plans...in fact, your workouts could be very therapeutic as you process I'm sure!

Holly @ Making Over Me
http://makingoverme.blogspot.com

Anonymous Fat Girl said...

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

Foodie Girl said...

This week of all things lovely and nice has turned out to be one of heartbreak. I am so sorry for your loss.

Stephany said...

I am so sorry to here this, and for this to be my first comment on your blog! It's tough to lose someone you love and I'll be praying for you!

Missy said...

So sorry for your loss. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers right now.