First, my 25th birthday is 4 weeks away from today. I am so excited for my birthday this year, mainly because I am finally excited about life! I don't live the unhappy way I used to. I have noticed a lot of different changes in myself in the past 2 weeks(haven't been blogging much, taking short breaks to focus on me). I will talk more on that later.
Second, I am still hoping for the half marathon one week after my 25th birthday. I have ran a couple of days this week and my knees feel strong. Going to try to get in a 6 mile run Saturday after I hit up the running store. I need to kick the workouts up a notch, I have been slacking slightly, although the intensity has increased.
Third, my friend since childhood is getting married. I am excited for the wedding, but I will be seeing a few people who really don't like me. The reasoning behind them not liking me, I do not know and that is in all honesty. At this wedding, I will also be seeing many people that I absolutely adore and have known since I was just a kid. They knew me as a chubby kid, and as an anorexic preteen-teen and then grow into a fat young adult. They haven't seen me this far into my journey and I really want to show them who I am on the inside and just how much I have changed!
Now, let's talk a little about the changes I have gone through recently. I will do these in bullet form.
- Had I been the old me when my parents told me of their divorce, I would have worried, cried, and dwell on it all day all the time. The new me, I have dealt with it. I am moving on and as I told my daddy-o last night, they can do whatever they want and I am just done with it. I don't really see or speak to them anymore. I love them, but there is a lot of tension and I don't want that to be in my life right now.
- I feel so determined. I have never had this feeling before. I want to take on anything and everything. The "fear to ask for fry sauce" as my momma would say, is gone. I don't fear looking stupid in front of people. I have so much in me to offer and I am ready to give it! Have I mentioned I am 15 pounds from my goal weight!!!!!!!! I weigh 125!! It has everything to do with my determination. I was up and down in my weight for so long(about 2 months or so), but now my nose is to the grindstone and I will be at goal by summer!!
- I have self confidence. I am excited to go shopping for clothes, specifically for a dress for the wedding I was talking about. I want to always look as gorgeous as I feel inside :) and I do! I have naturally curly hair(like super curly, I will post pics, I promise!) and I don't feel self concious letting it do it's thing. I feel like even when I first wake up, I look damn good. My body is changing and it looks good. I may have a little coming out party this weekend.....on the blog. Maybe get up some befores and afters :)
- I have goals. I have hobbies(2 actually now) Miss Nicole @ let them eat lettuce inspired me to do something. We have a koi pond in the back yard right now and because of the time consumption of the salt water tank inside, it has been neglected and it doesn't look good. So, I had been thinking about what to do in that area. Originally, I was just going to fill the hole back up with dirt and grow grass, but wouldn't a veggie/fruit garden be more awesome! Yes, Nicole posted about it right around the same time I was considering it and last night, we bought the supplies. I will be starting the garden indoor tomorrow and when I am ready to move it outside, I am going with Love's dad(whose garden rocks) to the local nursery to pick up a few more plants :) Awe, bonding time.
I have been reading up on your blogs when I can, but the comments are resuming promptly! I really care about you so much and I really hope you know that :)