Friday, March 12, 2010

It is kind of a big deal....

So, I have some really fun events coming up.

First, my 25th birthday is 4 weeks away from today. I am so excited for my birthday this year, mainly because I am finally excited about life! I don't live the unhappy way I used to. I have noticed a lot of different changes in myself in the past 2 weeks(haven't been blogging much, taking short breaks to focus on me). I will talk more on that later.

Second, I am still hoping for the half marathon one week after my 25th birthday. I have ran a couple of days this week and my knees feel strong. Going to try to get in a 6 mile run Saturday after I hit up the running store. I need to kick the workouts up a notch, I have been slacking slightly, although the intensity has increased.

Third, my friend since childhood is getting married. I am excited for the wedding, but I will be seeing a few people who really don't like me. The reasoning behind them not liking me, I do not know and that is in all honesty. At this wedding, I will also be seeing many people that I absolutely adore and have known since I was just a kid. They knew me as a chubby kid, and as an anorexic preteen-teen and then grow into a fat young adult. They haven't seen me this far into my journey and I really want to show them who I am on the inside and just how much I have changed!

Now, let's talk a little about the changes I have gone through recently. I will do these in bullet form.
  • Had I been the old me when my parents told me of their divorce, I would have worried, cried, and dwell on it all day all the time. The new me, I have dealt with it. I am moving on and as I told my daddy-o last night, they can do whatever they want and I am just done with it. I don't really see or speak to them anymore. I love them, but there is a lot of tension and I don't want that to be in my life right now. 
  • I feel so determined. I have never had this feeling before. I want to take on anything and everything. The "fear to ask for fry sauce" as my momma would say, is gone. I don't fear looking stupid in front of people. I have so much in me to offer and I am ready to give it! Have I mentioned I am 15 pounds from my goal weight!!!!!!!! I weigh 125!!  It has everything to do with my determination. I was up and down in my weight for so long(about 2 months or so), but now my nose is to the grindstone and I will be at goal by summer!!
  • I have self confidence. I am excited to go shopping for clothes, specifically for a dress for the wedding I was talking about. I want to always look as gorgeous as I feel inside :) and I do! I have naturally curly hair(like super curly, I will post pics, I promise!) and I don't feel self concious letting it do it's thing. I feel like even when I first wake up, I look damn good. My body is changing and it looks good. I may have a little coming out party this weekend.....on the blog. Maybe get up some befores and afters :)
  • I have goals. I have hobbies(2 actually now) Miss Nicole @ let them eat lettuce inspired me to do something. We have a koi pond in the back yard right now and because of the time consumption of the salt water tank inside, it has been neglected and it doesn't look good. So, I had been thinking about what to do in that area. Originally, I was just going to fill the hole back up with dirt and grow grass, but wouldn't a veggie/fruit garden be more awesome! Yes, Nicole posted about it right around the same time I was considering it and last night, we bought the supplies. I will be starting the garden indoor tomorrow and when I am ready to move it outside, I am going with Love's dad(whose garden rocks) to the local nursery to pick up a few more plants :) Awe, bonding time. 
 I have so much more to talk about, but I am going to leave you to digest this for now :) Thanks for reading!!

I have been reading up on your blogs when I can, but the comments are resuming promptly! I really care about you so much and I really hope you know that :)


Morgan said...

I LOVED reading this post! So happy you are in such a happy place in life. I always tell my younger friends that it wasn't until I was 25 that I finally was comfortable in my own skin and embraced life! Happy early birthday girly!!!

Annie, The Amazing Shrinking Girl said...

I'm so happy for you!

It's amazing how hard work pays off for our physical AND mental health!

And don't be sorry about not blogging... blogging should be something you do for yourself. Not something you owe to us. We're just happy we can follow you on this amazing journey!

Keep it up and good luck with everything coming up!

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Awww its obvious how happy you are by the tone of this post! Good to hear :)

Tricia said...

have a great weekend!

Anna said...

Great post... I love your positive attitude! Hope your training continues to go well with the half marathon!

karen@fitnessjourney said...

You certainly have had a lot going on in your nearly 25 years. I hope you go to that wedding and have the time of your life. Happy early birthday!

Missy said...

Glad to hear you in such a good place and are doing well! And only 15 pounds from goal is amazing - great job!!!

Tiff said...

I've been learning lately that nothing is as important as being happy- and it's great that you are there right now! You are SO close to your goal- can't wait to cheer you on as you reach it! :)