Food Can Not Define Me....

So, I have a slight problem. I love the taste of food, most food. I often find myself stuffing my face and stomach with 2nds and 3rds. Even though I never need it, but I want it. It is an addiction. One I don't talk about ever, in fact, I never realized how addicted I was before reflecting on my eating behaviors of the past 8 years or so. I look back at my eating habits and think what the heck have I been doing? No wonder I am stuck at the weight I am. When Love and I go out to eat, I eat my whole plate. It's surprising I don't lick the effing thing. I thought about this a lot today. Sometimes I feel obsessed with food, like it somehow defines the person I am. Sometimes I eat like the overweight person that I was. Others, I eat the amount for the thinner, more fit woman I am these days.

Tonight, I wanted to eat like the woman I was just over a year ago. I will tell you what when I show you my dinner.

Breakfast was the typical strawberries, blueberries, greek yogurt, fiber one, and a scoop of almond butter.
Lunch

Started with a spinach salad topped with roasted squash and zucchini....look familiar?

Steak sandwich with the leftover 2 oz. steak sliced. Topped with some mayo and mustard.
"Dessert" was a half a cup of strawberries.
On my way home from work I had a Oats & Chocolate fiber one bar. It was amazing.

Dinner

 The healthy tostada. The tortilla is a low carb, high fiber 50 calorie tortilla with a sprinkle of cheese, a big scoop of beans, 85/15 grass fed hamburger meat and

peach and mango salsa on the side.

I really really wanted another one. So, I walked over and grabbed for the tortilla bag and thought, 'What makes you want this? The fat girl that loved to eat, just to eat? That is not happening, because you are not that person anymore. You are learning and healing from your addiction.' I put the tortilla down and felt so good about my little mental talk. I feel like I am making a breakthrough in my fight against fat. I am learning that food DOES NOT DEFINE WHO I AM, ONLY WHO I WAS. I am living a healthy, happier life and my strength is what is helping define the new me!

What have you learned about your eating habits? And what do you feel defines you?

P.S. I completed Day 8 of the 30 day shred, I haven't gotten this far yet!

Gusto Lost!

So, I keep promising food blogging follow through, but have failed miserably. I feel like if I don't report or take a picture, it didn't happen. I can not continue to do that because it isn't helping me lose any of this last 17 pounds. Speaking of which...

127.2 is what the scale said yesterday. To say I feel awful is an understatement. That is a 2.9 pound gain and that crap ends there. I will not continue going up. I WILL NOT!

So, I rededicate my life to myself. I will get to my goal and I will be successful. I bought a new notebook and have a pretty pen to write down food, water, bowel movements(I can tell a lot by how many BM's I am having), and my daily to do lists for cleaning and such. I feel it will help me to get more in touch with myself. From my body to my mind. I love lists and this will help :)

Now that that is said....let's get onto my clean clean eats for today :)

Breakfast

Looked like this, except with blueberries and original fiber one cereal.

Lunch

.

Spinach salad with 1 small cucumber, 5 grape tomatoes, roasted squash and peach and mango salsa on top. On the side was a cheese stick and dessert was grapes(no pics, sorry).

Dinner

My lover made me a great steak. I had a 3 oz. cooked portion. We buy our beef from a local butcher and it is grass fed. I can totally tell the difference in the taste and quality of the meat. On the side I had zucchini and salad with poppy seed dressing.

Then, Love and I took the pups on a walk.

Here is my baby girl and I. It was a touch windy so I have that crazy hair in my eyes.

My boys.

When we got home it was time for dessert.

 Frozen Yogurt. It is a small cup for only 150 calories and yummy blueberries on top. Not so clean, but eh...I can limit what is clean and what isn't.

I will be back tomorrow...........I PROMISE.......I PROMISE MYSELF!!

Pandora Lover!

I am addicted to my Rihanna station on Pandora today. It made the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred fly by this morning. I loved it. It was harder today as I am still SUPER sore from doing it(and the dancing I did at the concert).

Today was a good day all around. Work was slow in the morning, but picked up a little in the afternoon. I love busy days at work, because they fly by. I am one of those lucky people that love their jobs(most of the time). I have obstacles to overcome, but every time I find solutions to problems, I feel that much stronger and more qualified at my job.

I came home and fell asleep immediately. My sleeping schedule has been all over the place the last few months. I can't fall asleep, but once I do I am O-U-T. Then, I can't hardly wake up. Therefore, no gym in the morning. That will change once half marathon training starts. If I don't have a treadmill by then, I will be getting up at 4:30 to hit the gym in the morning.

On to the eats for today...

Breakfast

The usual greek yogurt, blueberries, strawberries, and fiber one cereal :)

Snack

Banana...I got a picture of it today.

Lunch

A side salad with french beans, spinach, and grape tomatoes. The main course was 1 cup of my yummy homemade chili. I rock at making that chili, I tell ya. I put some plain greek yogurt and a little sprinkle of cheese on top. It was awesome.

Desert

My tummy was craving something sweet, so I had a fiber one bar for desert.

Dinner

A serving of penne rosa(I love the veggies in it) with a piece of pita bread. Holy yum!

Desert #2

The cupcakes I made turned out SO GOOD. I rarely bake anything, but when I do, I definitely enjoy it. Love enjoys it also.

On a sidenote, I have been doing great with my water intake. I have exceeded my 128 oz. of water for the past 2 days. Thanks to the 2 8 oz. glasses of water in the morning. I feel more energized and awake all day.

Do you use pandora? What is your favorite station?

Back at One!

Today was all in all a good day. I felt gorgeous. I have been doing the whole trying to be more presentable thing and getting ready is sooo awesome! Especially with new makeup and fun hairstyles. I am feeling so much better and more focused :).

The other day on All Things In Moderation she posted these little tidbits on hydration. Oh my gosh, the tip to drink 2 8oz. glasses of water first thing in the morning has really helped me. My body has a hard time waking up sometimes and the water really helped my body "wake up". So, that will be a part of my daily wake up ritual. I love getting new info.

Todays yummy food.

Breakfast

Crappy picture, sorry. It was blueberries, strawberries, strawberry Chobani, and some Fiber One cereal. This is my favorite breakfast right now!

Snack was a banana, I think you know what that looks like ;)

Lunch

I have a good, good man in my life! Love made chicken noodle soup for dinner last night. He boiled the marrow out of a smoked chicken and the soup was AMAZING! Carrots, potatoes, noodles, chicken pieces and the broth. I added the broccoli to mine for some more fiber and veggies. Love is not a veggie fan. He picks the carrots out, but makes it with them because he knows I love them. He rockes!

Snack

Crappy pic again, I am still trying to figure out my camera. I love these oats and chocolate fiber one bars.  They are perfect when I need a little sweet fix.

Dinner

Arby's french dip. This is by no means the BEST choice. However, I removed the cheese, threw away the top piece of bread and only dipped a little in the au jus sauce. According to the Arby's website, my tweaks took my sammie from 500 cals to about 360 calories. Not bad. I partnered this yummy sammie with a little side salad and a drizzle of poppy seed dressing.

To Dessert Or Not To Dessert?

My lover butt ate some of the red velvet cupcakes I made and I did not have one.

I worked out after making the cupcakes and it was already 9:15. I did Day 5 of the 30 Day Shred while listening to Pandora Radio. After I was done, I decided I didn't want to eat dessert right before bed so I made a good decision and did not have a yummy cupcake. I will save it for tomorrow :)

Today I have really tried to pay attention to portions and not letting cravings and wants push me to eat something that my body doesn't need. I feel like I am getting my groove back :) I am off to read my nook before passing out. Good Night!

How was your day?

Hmmm....

I have pictures of foods I have eaten in the past week. Just not enough time to post them apparently. I have been super duper busy.

• Worked my second job on Sunday.
• Saw Kings of Leon in concert last night! Front Row!
• Hung out at my dad's house. 
• Dog-sitting for Love's dad.
• Cleaning.
• Swimming.
• Oh, and weighing in at 124.3!

I lost .5 pound this week and that rocks. I haven't been on much of a losing streak lately. I feel I have become obsessive about my journey, so I am not going to put too much pressure and focus on my weight loss. I need to find a common ground between weight loss and living.

I will be paying a little more attention to cleaner eating. I love the way my body feels when I am eating lots of veggies and fruits. I just need to come up with some creative ways to eat clean in a fun way. Suggestions always welcome. I do plan to continue food blogging, I just have to find a good time to do it. Morning? Night? Morning and Night? I will do it. :)

I am on Day 5 of the 30 day shred(will do it right after work!) and I can feel it this time. I am using heavier weights for some of the strength and lighter for others. My legs are constantly sore and I love that feeling.

Maintaining....

Well, today I had a maintain and I am happy about that. It would have been a loss, except Love bought some delicious chocolate shell sauce(you know the stuff that hardens when you put it on ice cream) and I had 2 huge bowls of it on Sunday. Did no sweets for a week and celebrated like that? Ummmm.....looks like I will be continuing the no sweets thing. So, between now and next Tuesday AM I will not have dessert. I have 3 huge tupperwares full of watermelon, so I should be set ;)

As mentioned above, I maintained. I really need to get a good losing streak going. I am sooo ready to be under 120. I have lost my motivation to get up and go to the gym. I remember when I did it everyday at 5AM and now, I am like eh..screw it. I will do it later and then never do. Mark my words though....tonight I will take my dog out for a 3 mile run. I am going to start training him to be a running dog. He is a border collie/blue heeler mix, so they are made to run(and herd cattle, but who is counting?).

Anyways, food blogging will continue today.

Goals for this week:
1. 100+ oz. of water everyday including weekends.
2. Workout to the 30 day shred everyday beginning today.
3. No dessert.
4. Eat correct portions and types of foods.
5. Run 3 days and 3 miles each time.

On another note, I got a "NOOK" last night! We went to Barnes and Noble last night and I had mentioned to Love that I had been thinking that I wanted a Nook and after talking to the manager of the store, he sold us on it. I went in to buy the Chelsea Handler book(she is hysterical) and was going to spend more than $30 anyway. So, Love told me to just get the nook. It will save us money in the long run and I am so excited to get back to reading again :)

How do you find your motivation when you are in a slump? Do you have a Nook? What do you think of it?

Comments...

I somehow shut down my comments. I have no clue how or why, but they are back up and ready to go. 

Eating has been great. Week with no sweets went great. Exercise, eh. I worked out 2 days this week. Slap me, would ya?

How are YOU doing? What do you think of the food blogging thus far? Any comments or suggestions?

Ready For Bed!

How was your day?

Work for me was okay today. Busy at first and then slowed down so that I could play catch up on a few other tasks. I was ready for lunch at 2:00.

Lunch was a repeat from yesterday.

Recycled pic, but I still couldn't find my camera.

After work, I was hungry, but Love was working late and I had some cleaning to do. So, I had a slice of bread with some PB and Jelly. Just a side note, peanut butter has always been my favorite. I read a blogger once who said she only allowed herself peanut/almond butter at 1 meal in the day. I have incorporated that into my life, as well. I could eat it nonstop and I have eaten a full jar before.

I cleaned up around the house and then went to the store.

Once Love got home, we were both ready for dinner. Tonights dinner consisted of a tostada and a side salad.

The tostada had a scoop of beans, hamburger, a little cheese and some peach&mango salsa. My side salad was the usual. Spinach, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms and poppy seed dressing!

I needed a sweet and because I am doing no sweets for a week, I decided fruit was a great choice.

A small handful of grapes and one plum which was SUPER ripe....I love ripe ripe plums!!

Today was a good day. I feel so great and motivated. About to hit 100oz. of water. Another gym workout tomorrow morning. Gonna do an hour of cardio and some weights.

How do you pull yourself out when you are stuck in a diet rut?

July 6: Good Things!

Good Morning Everyone!

I woke up bright and early at 5:00AM. Then laid in bed with Love until 5:45.

Once I got my cute buns outta bed, it was off to weigh on the wii! I weighed in at 124.8! That is a 2.6 lb loss this week. I must have been retaining some water last week or something. I feel good though!

I went to the gym shortly after. Did 2.15 miles in 21 minutes. Honestly, this morning was HARD. I couldn't breathe and I felt tired, but I didn't stop at all. I just told myself I could push through. I am very proud of myself :)

Breakfast is Chobani Blueberry Greek Yogurt, Fiber One Cereal, blueberry and a little scoop of protein powder. No picture though, sorry. I can't find my camera. It may be in my car...hmm.

Tonight, I need to do some grocery shopping!

Have a great day!

Dinner

I napped, shopped, cleaned and did laundry since the last time you saw me! I picked up 2 pairs of shoes that I LOVE LOVE LOVE!! Grabbed a set of earrings and tried all 5 of my piercings(2 in one side, 3 in the other) and they are all still open.

I woke up hungry!

Tuna with 1/2 tablespoon mayo and Mrs. Dash sundried tomato basil seasoning mixed in. Sided with Special K tomato basil crackers and broccoli with I can't believe it's not butter.

I will only make it to about 80 ounces of water versus the 128 oz. I shoot for. I have been having 1 water to 1 sugarfree flavor packet water.

Good night! I will have a weigh in to report tomorrow morning :)

Good Afternoon!

Hi Everyone! Here I am again. This will be the only day that I post 3 times a day. I rarely get on the Internet when I am at work, so maybe a morning and evening post or once a day post will be my schedule. We'll see how it shakes out.

Well, I cleaned for about an hour and then Love had a surprise for me!! I packed up another coffee with soy milk and agave nectar.

  Onto my surprise...we went to "Bird World Pet Village", a local pet shop! He goes to see fish stuff and I go to see the PUPPIES!, Kitties, and bunnies...Mostly the puppies though. I play with them and pet them, oh be still my frickin' heart. Then, we hit up another fish store. No purchases today though. Couldn't find anything we loved. We left the fish store and decided it was time for lunch.

Luckily, we were right up the street from my favorite sandwich place. "Village Baker" was introduced to my life about 8 years ago and ever since I have gone their all the time. I used to drive 45 minutes to get a sandwich....45 MINUTES! It really is that great.

I typically get the turkey and provolone sandwich on honey whole wheat with mayo/mustard mix, tomato, and iceberg lettuce. However, today I asked for it dry and with no lettuce. I brought it home took one half and topped it with honey mustard and some spinach. It tasted so different without the mustard/mayo mix, but that is NOT a bad thing. I tasted all of the natural ingredients the sandwich had to offer...mostly the provolone! Yum! It made for the perfect lunch.

On the side, I had a single serving of carrots(Costco, I love you even more!), and a half of an apple. Today is going great so far.

I have decided that I am doing the no sweets for a week again. Today is day one. About 20 minutes after I told Love that I was doing it, he does this........

A huge snicker doodle cookie and 2 route 44 slushes from Sonic. Ummm....do you want me to punch you? Ha. Kidding! I didn't actually even think about having either. Go me.

How do you deal with temptation?

July 5: Good Morning!

Well, first meal of food blogging today!

I had 1 whole egg, 2 egg white omelet with spinach, a sprinkle of cheese and peach&mango salsa on top(not pictured). I also had 1 piece of sausage, and a coffee with soy milk and a touch of agave nectar! It was perfect. It was a great meal to get me going on a full day of cleaning. Wish me luck in finding my actual camera because my phone pics aren't as awesome!

How was your 4th?

On Track?

Friday morning I got my cute butt out of bed and went to the gym. I ran 2 miles in under 20 minutes. That showed me that I still can run. My first day of couch to 5k it took me 15 minutes to "run/walk" 1 mile. Now, I do it more than 5 minutes faster. It's been a long, and sometimes, extremely trying road. I have learned so much about myself in that time. I have run a half marathon in a rather impressive time for a first timer(2:16:00). I have learned that I LOVE most veggies that I have never tried before(brussel sprouts, artichokes, banana peppers). I don't need to overeat to cure the sadness I feel sometimes. Running is my therapy.


However, I really need to rededicate myself to this journey, to my life! I owe it to myself to be healthy, happy and fit. I have slid off track in the past 2ish weeks and I do not like this feeling. I didn't actually realize it until a serious talk with my Love.

We were on our way camping and he ran into one of his best girl friends from high school. So, he introduces me and I looked like a rodent you would find on the side of the road. My hair was curly and a mess, I had rubbed off all of my makeup(which I don't normally wear a lot of), and I was in chill clothes(we were going camping). I was embarrassed with how I looked, especially with how fondly he talks of this girl. He asked me a question that he never has before, "Why don't you dress yourself up and presentably every day? Most days you wear a t shirt and jeans. You look like a high schooler and not a 25 year old!" Oh my gosh, he was totally right. I can't remember the last time I put on heels to go to work, or dress pants, or a shirt that wasn't a plain ol' t shirt. I used to be the girl with no self esteem who tried to hide it with heels, too much makeup and clothing that was in style. I was faking all of it. Now, I am the woman who has lots more self confidence in the way I look, but I feel I lack in the way I dress and don't feel like getting ready most of the time.

When we got back from camping, I decided a change needed to be made. Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I wore heels, put on makeup, dress pants and cute shirts(still t shirts, but not sloppy tee's) to work. Oh my gosh, it took me an hour(usually 30 minutes) to get ready and that extra half hour truly made a difference. When it comes to clothes I was in the mindset that I am not at goal yet and I can't buy new clothes until I am. I currently have 17 pounds to go. My clothes are all on their last legs. As of today I have 3 pairs of size 4 jeans and all of them need to be hemmed. I would like to sport them before they are too big for me, so that is at the top of my to do list. Because now, I care about clothes and makeup. Mostly though, I care about me and making a good impression, because I am a good person.

So, I am vowing to rededicate myself to getting to goal. In this journey, I have tried counting calories, that lasted a couple of days. I thought about doing weight watchers, but I get lazy. The thing that has always worked for me was desserts very seldomly, lots of veggies & fruits, running, elliptical, and listening to my body. My body is starting to think, not one more crap decision, I am full!

This weeks schedule will include food blogging, working out Monday-Saturday and feeling gorgeous everyday :)

I wish you all a great week :)

Ugh...

Wednesday I weighed in at 127.4. I am soooo disappointed. I need to get my butt back into gear.